It is back to school time here in Oregon. In many parts of the country I understand school has been underway since the middle of August. Here we continue to begin with students the day after Labor Day. This year in Bend school will let out a week early, a result of budget cuts, the result of a continuing tight state economy.
As retired teachers, my wife and I still feel as if we are playing hooky seeing the big yellow buses drive by today and we are going out the door too. We will be over it by mid morning, however, as we go back to the pile of tasks that we have created for ourselves to work on.
With this new school year daunting tasks lie ahead for our nation's schools, administrators, teachers, and the precious students in their care. Besides the obvious task of guiding them through their educations, is assuring that they can learn in a peaceful, safe environment. Considering the energy level, often overcrowded condition, and backgrounds of the students in many classrooms and on playgrounds, maintaining a safe environment is sometimes a near impossible situation.
According to a report on the NBC evening news this past week, a national focus in public schools will be on curbing bullying. The report said that top level conferences had been held this summer to brainstorm ways to combat growing problems in physical, psychological and cyber bullying among elementary, mid-school, and high school students. The statistics given on the show were alarming but not different than what has been presented here, on the Stop Bullying Now web site, and other sites that are linked to on this site.
Emphasized on the report was the new theme, "It is no longer to use the excuse, 'boys will be boys,' 'girls will be girls.'.
It is interesting how subtle, how insidious, that bullying is, and yet how quickly it can be nipped in the bud if a person is vigilant. I saw that the other night at a family gathering. I had called the families together so that I could take photos of my five grand children in the back to school clothes. Two will be a fourth graders, one will a fifth grader, one an eighth grader and one a freshman in high school. In one family is a fourth grader, fifth grader and the freshman. The second family has the fourth grader and eighth grader. I was concentrating on trying to operate a camera that I was unfamiliar with as my own camera was on the fritz. Suddenly I heard my eighth grade grand daughter saying, "Your sarcasm is uncalled for," to her two cousins. I looked up and started to pay attention. Her two cousins, the fifth grader and his brother the freshman were on either side of their fourth grade cousin who was wearing his new school pants which were lime green. The younger cousin was saying, "I'm sorry but they are just not cool!" His older brother was shaking his head in agreement.
The younger cousin stoically looked off into the distance and kept his face straight with a little bit of a smile on it. It had only been a year or so before that he would have gotten up and stomped off in anger. He said, "Your negative humor isn't all that funny." To which his slightly older cousin replied, "Oh, I assure it isn't humor. I'm serious. Not cool."
I shut it down and told my grandson he had no right to talk to his cousin that way. End of conversation. I finished the few shots left and then turned to the eighth grade grand daughter and complimented her for standing up for her brother. I told her she had done exactly the right thing to do, and why. I then turned to the two cousins and told them that I felt they had no right to criticize their cousins choice in school wear. If it didn't match what they would have chosen, that was their right. But they did not have the right to choose for him, and they should stand up for his right to make his own choice, as I hoped he would stand up for their own choices. I then told the cousin that had sat through the hazing and told him how proud of him I was that he had not just sat there silently, but had told his cousin what he thought of their comments calmly without running away.
I was proud that the five of them finished the evening on good terms. They went in to dinner, sat at the same table apart from adults and seemed to enjoy themselves. I saw no evidence that there was any left over animosity, or ill feelings. It is possible that my grand daughter could have taken care of it herself. But I felt that it was worthwhile adding my credibility to the mix. I have a good rapport with my grandchildren because of projects we have done together and that helped.
The point is that hazing, teasing, bullying, whatever name you want to give it can occur in such a subtle way that you are hardly aware that it is going on. Nipped quickly and it can go away. Let to fester, and it can become a cancer.
No comments:
Post a Comment